Trust the Process

Two nights before Thanksgiving, my wife and I woke up to a large whooshing sound close by our bedroom window. It was in the middle of a rainstorm with significant wind. I padded over to the nearest window and in the dark, was able to make out a mangled mass of tree that had blown into our sidelawn. At 3am, there wasn’t much to do. I got back in bed resolving to address the situation in the morning.

I was coming off a ten day work week with 12 hour shifts and two cross country flights. With 16 people coming for Thanksgiving dinner there was a lot to do. When the morning light revealed hours of clean up with the fallen half tree, I realized my “holiday” was going to mean a whole lot of work. Assessing the tree situation, I figured I could handle it myself with some lops, a chainsaw and a hearty helping of physical labor. Though the situation looked catastrophic, overwhelming even, it would simplify and resolve with patience, doggedness and process.

“Process” has never been a word/idea that resonates much with me. I’ve been saddled with a mindset that basically leans towards submission if positive returns are not quickly realized. I’m an immediate gratification guy and am besotted with early success. However, I’ve hit a point in this life, where I need to change this mindset. Big changes are coming in the next year and direction and purpose are not clear. I need to make some decisions that require a lot of consideration: process is an essential part of the equation.

Physical pursuits in recent years have given me some positive experience with process. As a bike rider, I really sucked in the beginning and still do to some degree. While running and the attendant race results came easy, on the bike I’ve been thoroughly mediocre for years. Still, I follow training plans, mind my nutrition and scour YouTube for any insight that might make me faster. On practically a daily basis I try to get better though the task at (almost) 58 sometimes seems insurmountable. I trust the process. Some days, I have proof I’m getting better.

I don’t know where all the rumination around the big questions in my life will take me. I just know that like the tree by the side of my house, a solution will only come after some hard work. I’ve been at it for a while and just like limbing that big ass tree, it’s making me tired. Occasionally, it hurts and it’s frustrating. But, there’s a big stack of branches and logs in my brush pile this morning and we pulled off Thanksgiving without a hitch. Similarly, some day, I’ll be beyond the big questions and able to get on with the fun part of Phase 2.